"i'm standing in the wind, but i never wave bye-bye, but i try. . ."

Hello my gorgeous giraffes!

How ya’ll doing this cold, gloomy day?  Well, in Kentucky anyway.  This weekend was beautiful. . .we had the curtains drawn back, blinds pulled up, even a couple windows open. . .loved it!  Today it’s over cast and gray and cold. . .*sigh*

Well, today started the first official day of the Weight Watchers diet and I gotta tell ya, I’m not starving. . .at all.  In fact, I’m pretty damn full.  This weekend I ‘kind of’ tracked my points.  We joined Friday and decided to finish out the weekend and start on Monday (today) and while I did awesome Saturday, Sunday I blew it.  Saturday when I went to bed, I still had 5.5 points left, if I was counting Sunday, I probably wouldn’t have had any points to eat today! 

Sunday started out bad from start to finish.  I had hair to do and I had to get up early and run out and get some supplies.  While I meant to get up early and eat breakfast, I didn’t.  So while out at K-Mart  I thought, “I can grab some cheese sticks and eat one with my ziti Smart Ones.”  Got a small one, and my friend Heather bought breadsticks, from The Little Ceasars in K-Mart.  Get home, running late of course, trying to get all my supplies together, throw my meal in the microwave and get started on my color.  Heather and I decided to just let the kids have the cheese sticks since they were so small and we’d have the bread sticks.  Well, I steal a cheese stick cuz I’m super starving and because I walked by the table they were sitting on.  *sigh*  About an hour later I eat my meal, it’s cold, and one bread stick and another cheese stick.  Later that night we have chinese food and Tiffers and Chris brought home “this is the last time we can eat one of you in ever’ glazed, chocolate donuts.  Yum!  By the time I went to bed last night, I was so freakin’ full I thought I was gonna be sick.  It was awful.

The worst thing I’ve had today is this mega huge cup of coffee. . .

One cup of coffee with Splenda and 1 teaspoon of creamer is 0 points.  That is probably about 2 cups of coffee with 3 tiny packets of Splenda and about 3 teaspoons of creamer.  I’m gonna guesstimate that it’s more than 0, maybe 2 points.  This morning I was running late so I grabbed some coffee (which I didn’t even get to drink half of) a banana, a granola bar and this WW cake thingy; all together 4 points.  Ate the cake thingy in the car, half the banana at work and the granola bar is still in my purse (we were pretty darn busy!); I ate 2 points.  For lunch I had Progresso light chicken noodle soup, 6 saltine crackers and a 100 calorie package of sour cream Pringles; 9 points. 

Now that I’ve started counting this stuff, when I think about what I had been putting in my body it makes my belly hurt, literally.  We were eating AWFUL.   Today, I feel wonderful.  Yes, wonderful because I’m making a very important lifestyle change, but also because I got my Stigmata soundtrack in the mail today!  Whoo-hoo!!!

It’s got David Bowie’s The Pretty Things Are Going To Hell special Stigmata mix.  It kicks hella ass.  Since then I’ve bought this special edition, Japanese import of Hours that has a bonus cd, all together 27 tracks and guess what, it’s got 3 mixes of The Pretty Things Are Going To Hell. . .oh well, can’t ever have too much Bowie.  I bought this one before I made the promise to myself if I lose weight in my first week of WW I would buy me a Bowie CD, which I still totally plan on doing, so I didn’t reward myself early.

Well. . .think I'm done now. . .  :)

PS  The blog brought to you by David Bowie’s Modern Love. . .I’ve had this song in my head ALL DAY!

PSS  He does the ‘drunk uncle’ at 3:11.

PSSS  It kinda freaks me out that his hair is the same color as his suit.

PSSSS  Tiffers is gonna make me a food blog!  

"love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves. . ."

Hey, hey my blog readers!

Big news today. . .I joined Weight Watchers and am uber excited about it!  Me, my mom and Tiffers all joined together so we’ve got a great support system already. . .all this PointsPlus stuff is a bit overwhelming at first, but once I’ve read all the literature that comes with it, I so got this!  The biggest problem I think I’ll have at the moment is exercise.  I’m very limited on what I can do at the moment because of my crappy back so it looks like it’s only going to be the treadmill for awhile. . .

I’ve already decided too, that I am going to buy an uber cool food journal and an uber cool pen only to be used in my food journal.  I read somewhere this helps because it keeps you interested and your attention. . .I mean, what girly girl doesn’t enjoy pretty stationary and pens!  And Tiffers and I have already jazzed up our little calculator thing with Hello Kitty stickers.  We might even bedazzle it!  LOL

My goal is very small at the moment.  Just make it through the first week, abiding by my target, and if I lose anything, I’m talking a pound here, I’m gonna be ecstatic!  And as my reward, I’m gonna march my chubby self across the mall, into FYE and I’m buying me some Bowie.   So far I’ve just been getting music off itunes and watching on it youtube, but I’m old school, I like CD’s and albums. . .sounds pretty awesome to me. . .and this is what I really want:

And Sara and Summer are supporting me all the way from Washington!  {{{hugs from Kentucky!}}}

So yeah. . .be prepared to hear me talking/whining/screaming/completely over joyed about food.

Randomness that happened earlier.  I had a cup of coffee that got cold.  I put in the microwave for a bit then forget about it.  Heat it back up again and head back to my bedroom to read through my WW books. . .I’ve been out ALL day and my leg is VERY owy so I grab a trusty vicodin, break it in half, pop it in my mouth and grab my cup of coffee to wash it down with. . .only my coffee is hot like the bowels of hell!  It’s liquid hot magma (said in the Dr. Evil voice) on my tongue and I spit the coffee and my vicodin back into my cup.  Now, I don’t have insurance, I pay for all my prescriptions out of pocket, just had it refilled today, there was no way I was wasting that thing.  So I let my coffee cool down and I drank it. . .tasted like pure sin at the bottom, but I wasn’t dumping that down the sink!

Done now. . .

PS  this blog brought to you by David Bowie/Queen’s Under Pressure with Gail Ann Dorsey.  She tears it up!  And Bowie and his one dance, 1:29, cracks me up. . .I love it!

PSS after talking with Tiffers, I think we’ve decided that we’ll just get the food diary thingy through weight watchers and go old school:  put a collage of awesome things on it then cover it in clear tape.   :D  still getting an uber cool pen though. . .

"don't stay in a sad place where they don't care how you are, everyone says 'hi'. . ."

Hey hey my leaping lilies!

How ya’ll doing this gorgeous day?  Well I hope it’s gorgeous where you are anyway. . .we’re freezing and covered in snow.  The snow is beautiful, but I am so over this winter.  Done.  These poor kids are going to be going to school until July. . .but a great way to wake up in the morning is your 6 year old sister blaring from her room Strangers When We Meet. . . that made my grumpy owy morning much better.

So, let’s get the Bowie!bits over with. . .not because I’m trying to drop him like trash, cuz that’s just insane to even think , but because I know Tiffers is reading this and is probably sighing in annoyance that I’ve brought the Bowie up again. . .but here it is.  I had the craziest Bowie dream!  Granted, I did take a little something something last night before I went to bed so I could actually sleep AND I did fall asleep with A Reality Tour still playing on the tv, but this dream was crazy!

Here goes:  Bowie and I were at my Granny’s house, only it wasn’t my Granny’s house.  It was big, 2 stories and dirty.  Not like ‘I’m a hoarder and I’ve got a million cats’ dirty, just cluttered and dusty.  My first thoughts are that this is most definitely NOT my Granny’s house, her house is immaculate.  Everything is always in it’s place and you can put on a white glove and run your fingers along every inch of her house and find nothing.  So I’m confused already and my Granny says, “I’ve made chicken for dinner.”  Yum!  We sit down to eat and Bowie needs ketchup for his chicken so my Granny brings him a new bottle and he’s struggling to pull the little tab off the top.  He does, finally after an amusing few moments, and proceeds to jump half the bottle on top of his chicken so that it’s like soup.  Yuck!  And he eats it.  Double yuck!

Well, it’s getting time to leave and my Granny’s place was crawling with people I’d never met before and I can’t find my purse.  I’m convinced someone has stolen it.  My Granny and I search upstairs and find it stuffed under a mattress and you can tell that it’s been rummaged through but I really can’t find anything missing.  We go back downstairs and Bowie is in the kitchen with my Grandpa who is explaining the house is so dirty because they are remodeling, which makes sense now.  Awesome.  But what’s weird is Bowie has their refrigerator pulled from the wall and acting as a mechanic.  But he still looks all Bowie-fied with a neatly pressed suit, shiny shoes and perfect hair. 

(Kinda like this. . .only without the large ‘Bowie’ in lights, we already who he is.)  Weird.  And that’s when I wake up. . .

Remember a few blogs ago I made the comment that I didn’t enjoy my coffee anymore?  Well I think I now know why.  I’ve become a coffee snob.  I never thought I would say that because for the longest time, to me coffee was coffee was coffee.  Put some Splenda in it, a little creamer and I’m good to go.  Not anymore.  Around Christmas time, I bought my dad this deelish Starbucks caramel flavored coffee.

After that, the whole house began experimenting with various types of coffee and flavors.  I remember thinking, “this is getting crazy, I miss plain ‘ol regular coffee.”  Well, we went back and that’s when my problem began.  This morning I notice that we have Starbucks caramel flavored coffee again and it is so freakin’ deelish, it almost brought tears to me eyes.  I’ve had two cups already and am tempted tomake another pot so I can have some more. . .yeah, I’m such a coffee snob now.  Don’t gimme that ‘Foldgers in your cup’ line anymore, give me Starbucks!!

Done now. . .

PS  This blog brought to you by David Bowie’s Everyone Says ‘Hi’

PSS  doesn’t he look so pimp is his little coat?!

"i found the secrets i found gold, i found you out before you grow old. . ."

Hey hey my little bumble bees!

(Don’tcha just love my terms of endearment?)

Just got home a bit ago. . .uber tired.  Sleeping in a chair sucks. . .thinking about a little nap later, but I’m pretty sure that won’t happen, but a nap is always nice to think about right?  Work was super slow, tips sucked.  But I made enough to get a couple packages in the mail and buy the stuffs to make tater tot casserole. . .yum-o!

I’ve finally made the decision to join Weight Watchers.  There was once a point in my life when it was like, “I’m fat.  I’m happy with myself.  If you don’t like, you can go and fuck yourself.”  The end.  Now it’s not a matter of being happy with myself, cuz let’s face it, I am adorable chubby (lol), but my health is suffering because of it.  Yeah, my fat didn’t make me have a shitty back, genetics did, but it doesn’t help.  Plus I’m turning 29 this year and dammit, I want a jumpy house for my b-day and I don’t want to look like a big ‘ol cow jumping up and down in it!  Yeah, I’m renting a jumpy house for my b-day. . .don’t be jealous!  Going to sign up Friday so this will be the last time I can ever enjoy tater tot casserole guilt free. . .but it’ll be totally worth it.

As for my b-day, this is going to be the last b-day party I ever want to have.  Twenty-nine is it!  Maybe I’ll have another one if I make it to 80, then I’ll celebrate my 30^th. . .until then, 20 foreva!

On the Bowie home front, just bought the Stigmata soundtrack off ebay today. . .yays! 

Stigmata is one of my ALL TIME fav movies.  Like in ever.  Somehow, and don’t ask me how, when this movie came out in ’99, miraculously our family tv could get all the pay-per-view channels for free.  Imagine that!  And these were the days (I don’t know it still might be) when you ordered a movie, you could watch it all day and Stigmata happened to be one of those movies and I watched that movie 24/7 until it went off pay-per-view, it was also one of the very first DVDs I ever bought for myself.  Gabriel Byrne is so deelish.  *sigh*  

Anyway while browsing through Bowie music, I noticed that he had a song on the soundtrack and when I listened to it I immediately knew where it was in the movie. . .well, the one in the movie is a special mix that apparently you can only get on the soundtrack, haven’t been able to find it anywhere else.  So I broke down and bought it today. . .can’t wait to get it!

I love the original version. . .Bowie has that 90’s gritty grunge rock sound to his voice, kinda reminds me of Eddie Vedder a bit, but still in a Bowie way if that makes any sense. . .

Really getting into making my hair bows again.  I’ve got new inspiration and am watching a ton of stuff on ebay, which is kinda bad.  I had a really awful ebay habit back in the day and I can feel it creeping up on the back of my neck again.  I bought so much pointless musical stuff on there. . .it was totally worth it though.  Music is life for me so in a way, it was like buying food that never expires. . .

Done now. . .

PS.  This blog brought to you by David Bowie’s The Pretty Things Are Going To Hell. . .

"i'm resentful for we're strangers when we meet. . ."

Hello my lovelies!

I’m so bored tonight. . .I’ve made like 20 hair bows and I am so tired of ribbon.  Also been watching season 2 of Fringe and am slowly catching up.  Yes, yes I know that once upon a time I said Fringe was just an X-Files rip off and while they are similar, they are not the same.  (I loved how they snuck a clip of the X-Files episode Dreamland into the first episode of season 2.)  It is similar enough however, that once I gave it a real chance (I did attempt to watch a few episodes when it premiered) I actually like it.  I’m on disc 2 of season 2 and watched the new episode tonight and even though there were some spots I’m totally confused about, I followed along pretty good.  Yay for me!

I was off today. . .hence my bored-ness.  I love having days off, but rarely ever have anything planned for them anymore.  And it’s snowy and cold outside anyway. . .which is why I’ve been so crafty lately.  Bows, bracelets, buttons, writing.  It’s kept my time occupied pretty well and doesn’t strain my back too bad.

AAAHHH!!! 

Enough of this small talk already, the real reason I’m back is to talk about David Bowie some more since my last blog was so long I didn’t want to bore you. . .

Here’s a little insight into our home being taken over by Bowie. . .dad plays school with Bug all the time.  Normally it consists of him reading the newspaper and her babbling on about numbers and folders and how there is always one bad student in the class, Craig, our dog.  Dad usually doesn’t have to say much, just nod his head and answer a question every once in a while.  Well today it was school of Bowie.  Bug’s got the CD player on with her Bowie mix CD and she’s shuffling through it and dad has to “name that Bowie song!” or in some cases give the next lyric.  He’s failing.

Also apparently I’m getting on people’s nerves with Strangers When We Meet, but I seriously cannot help it.  It’s my special Bowie!crack, I need it.  I’ve been trying not to listen to it so much on iTunes because the count is really getting up there, we’re talking like 80 times here.  That doesn’t count the 30 times I’ve watched the video and the bazillion times I’ve listened to it on my ipod and in the car.  I literally have the video open in a tab on my computer at all times this way every time I walk by it, I can watch it.  And yes, I did stay up until 3 am last night making screen caps of the video, but I was gonna be up until 3 anyway so there!  You can’t judge me!

I’m resentful for we’re strangers when we meet. . .

Yes I know he has a massive catalogue of music out there, but my personal fav Bowie is 90’s Bowie on.  He’s got those lovely 80’s albums too, but I just can’t seem to get into 70’s Bowie. . .at all.  And I’ve tried, oh how I’ve tried, but some of that stuff is just way out there. . .I am getting Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars: The Motion Picture and I will watch it in it’s entirety and make my final decision on 70’s Bowie soon. 

I’ve watched 2 of his older movies recently, The Hunger and The Man Who Fell to Earth.  I watched The Hunger first and it made me sad that Bowie was only in like what, the first 30ish minutes.  He plays a super posh vampire. . .

. . .but something strange happens and he begins to age.  Very rapidly.  We’re talking wrinkles, liver spots, hair loss to corpse in 10 minutes. 

So not believable.    First of all Bowie hasn’t aged since he turned 45, he has an impeccably lush thick head of hair that will never leave him and these vampires didn’t sparkle at all.  At all.  Not even a shine.  We all know that vampires sparkle.  Jeez. . .

Now, The Man Who Fell To Earth.  Seriously, what the fuck was that?!  Other than the fact that David Bowie was pretty in that movie I didn’t get anything.  Well I mean I got the most basic plot (if basic is ‘David Bowie is an alien sent to Earth to sell bunches of rings to pawn shops to make money to pay a lawyer to get patents on their planets advanced technology that he’s written down on tracing paper so he can make more money to build a mega spaceship that will send him back to his home planet with water from Earth because they are in a drought’ basic then yeah, I got that), then I went to the Wikipedia and it explained the rest, but what. . .the. . .fuck?  That movie seriously creeped me out.  First of all, I never need to see Rip Torn in the buff again.  Not that it was on my list of things to see before I die, but now that I have, once was most definitely enough.  There was so much 70’s nakedness. . .so. . . much. . .70’s. . . nakedness.  But Bowie looked absolutely gorgeous.  Great hair, expensive looking sunglasses, very soft spoken, well manicured nails. . .he looked other worldly so it was easy to believe he was an alien. 

But then when he took his disguise off. . .wha?  What? 

I also never need to see that again.  No butt crack.  Think about that for awhile.  And they did all these tests on him and just let him go?  He’s a freakin’ alien from another planet!  The government wouldn’t just let him go!  But as Tiffers said, “Maybe they were just done with him.”  *sigh*  Leave it to her to be right in one sentence when I defended my argument with a monologue!  Then when it showed the aliens getting it on covered in this oatmeal looking stuff, I almost had to turn it off.  But I stuck it out.  So the government lets him go, lets him keep all these billions of dollars and he decides to make an album so that someday his family on the other planet can hear it on the radio.  But they be dead cuz you didn’t send ‘em no water you selfish, drunken sex/tv addict!  But he looked very sad and ashamed and adorably broken at the end so I forgave him.

Although if you've ever wondered what David Bowie looks like without clothes, this is the one you need to watch cuz it's all there for your viewing pleasure.

Started watching the second season of The Hunger that Bowie hosted, but I’ve only watched maybe the first 15 minutes. . .it was kinda gross.  He performed self surgery on his arm for art.  Yuck.

Well, I think I’m all Bowie-ed out for the night. . .gotta be to work early and while I know I won’t sleep I’m gonna go to chair now (remember I don’t sleep in a bed anymore) and watch some Fringe.

Done now. . .

PS.  This blog is once again brought to you by Bowie’s Strangers When We Meet. . .deal with it.  lol

PPS.  Bug came in and actually sat down and watched the SWWM video in it’s entirety, very quietly I might add.  Then asked to watch it again and this happened.  “Oh my gosh!  Look at his little face!  Look at his little mustache!  Look at his little eyebrows!  He is so hot!  Look at his manly muscles!  I want to marry him.  Look at his muscles!  Why does that girl look like a doll?  Look at his muscles!  Can I kiss your computer screen?  Look at his muscles!”

"all my violence raging tears upon the sheets, i'm resentful for we're strangers when we meet. . ."

Hello my blog reader!  (Yes, I realize it’s only you Tiffers and I appreciate your interest!)

It’s been a million years since I’ve blogged, yes I know this, and in my last blog I was probably either A.) going to a concert or B.) whining.  Well, I haven’t been to a concert since October so guess what this blog is about?

It’s actually been so long since I blogged, I couldn’t even remember my password.  I’ve been trying to change my passwords up lately because I keep reading that you shouldn’t have the same password for everything you do on the internet.  I mean, who really does that?  Certainly NOT me. 

Now, let’s get the whining bit over so we can talk about what I really want to talk about, which is my new musical obsession, but I’m gonna keep ya in suspense on that one.  (Unless you follow me on Facebook and by now I’m sure you already know and are tired of hearing about.  Yes, I’m still talking to you Tiffers.)  I’ve come to the conclusion this morning that I’m not enjoying my morning coffee like I used to and that makes me sad.  Why does that make me sad you ask?  Because I’ve come to the realization that it’s not the coffee I enjoy anymore, it’s the fact that it speeds up my tiny cocktail of meds I take every morning.  And yes, they’re all prescribed by doctors. . .except for the DayQuil I’ve been taking this week.  And I don’t know how many of you out there suffer from chronic back pain, I have since my very early 20’s, but I have built up a very high pain tolerance.  I personally believe I could give birth to twins and not need an epidural.   Would I want one?  HELL YES!  But would I necessarily need one?  Nah.

Example:  This morning when I got out of chair, yes I haven’t slept in a bed in 4 months, I cried a little and by the time I made it to the bathroom and was attempting to get to the kitchen to get my coffee I don’t enjoy anymore, I screamed a little and had tears in my eyes.  But when I smelled that coffee and poured it into my cup and those bits of steam swirled out, I knew I was going to fell better in about 15 minutes, not because of the deliciously evil caffeine, but because I was about to take a small handful of pills with my deliciously evil caffeine.  And now, while I don’t feel I could take on the world, I feel like I can make it through the day.  Except for the fact that all my sneezing and coughing send a pain so severe to my leg that sometimes I’d rather chop it off than keep it, which is where the high pain tolerance comes in.  I can now go to work, I can cook, I can clean, I can play with Bug, I can do most normal things with a reasonably lesser degree of pain.  But I can’t get a Diet Rite from the fridge because people keep putting them all the way at bottom in the back. . .grr unto you!

Whining over.  Let’s talk about Bowie.  And by Bowie, I mean the one and only David Bowie, my current musical obsession.  It all started when Tiffers and I were babysitting the Bug one day and Tiffers was tired of Bug watching The Neverending Story.  “Let’ watch the Labyrinth.  I loved this movie when I was little.”  Me and Tiffers set out to do our daily crafts at the kitchen table and after about an hour of silence I look up and ask, “Where’s Bug?”  I hadn’t heard a peep from her since the movie started and when I was little the Labyrinth kinda freaked me out (Hoggle is freaky looking!) and I think she’s sitting in the living room scared to death.  Not at all.  She’s in love.  With David Bowie.  In a very ugly wig.  She’s been sitting in the there completely enthralled.  Now we have a Bug obsessed with the Labyrith, listening to the soundtrack over and over and over again.  So I, trying to save my sanity, suggest other Bowie songs for her on YouTube and suddenly, she loves Bowie even when he doesn’t have his wig on!  And I find myself captivated by The Thin White Duke as well. . .so here we are.  Me and Bug totally in love with Bowie and Tiffers silently hating herself for starting the whole thing.  At the moment, I am completely and utterly devoted to one song, Strangers When We Meet. 

(and no I didn’t stay up til 3 o’clock in the morning making screen caps of this video. . .you can’t judge me!)

Leave it to me to find one of Bowie’s most poppy ballads, but I’m a product of the 80’s, what can I say?  Literally, I want to crawl up into this song in the fetal position and hibernate all of winter and possibly the beginning of the spring when it’s still all cold.  By then the snow is gone, most of the cold and Kentucky will be in bloom and hopefully my back will be on the mend again.  Then I can bust out with the rockin’ Bowie in the sunshine and the pool.  Yes, I have a mix for everything and that includes my pool time.

So, I’ve just barely touched onto my new obsession, but this blog is mega long so I’ll leave the rest for another time. . .i’ll be back sooner than the last few times.  Promise.

Done now. . .

PS.  This blog is brought to you by David Bowie’s Strangers When We Meet. . .duh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rllBPMbuvIY